The Conversation: Part 1

So i read the book "The Conversation" by Hill Harper. A great read on how black men and women can have loving relationships with each other so that our kids grow up in single parent households. I had a dinner party at my house where i had a group of friends some married, engaged, dating, and some extremely single (me lol). IT sparked something great and i thought maybe i should continue this on a blog. This blog may become a series of things i right as i re read this book and talk about what i think. So Hill says that he believes that finding good relationships means first giving good love to yourself and that if we do that we will not settle for less than a righteous and fullfilling relationship. Which means its all a cirle, love is received and reciprocated and it all grows. Do you wonder if you love yourself enough to actually love someone else the right way? Is there a right or wrong way to love.
So as Hill is driving he looks in the mirror and really takes a look at himself. All along he has been blaming the world as a reason he is not in a relationship. This is what i have been doing so i decided i would talk a hard look at myself in the mirror and I saw pretty much the same thing. I blame me living in Memphis for my lack of relationships or that I dont go out or that i am a career woman and i dont have time for the shenanigans. In actuality none of those are really the problem, its all me not my circumstance. I had to realize i am apart of the problem and until i admitted that and decided i wanted to fix it, i would still be alone. So like Hill I am going to try and move forward.
if you think about it, the way you think and act could be defined by the family in which you were raised. Being raised by a single mother is definately different than being raised by two parents. Take me for instance. my mother and father have been together for almost 29 years, my aunt on my mother side has been in love with her husband since 15 and now has been married to him for almost 30 years, and thats how all my aunts and uncles are on both sides, not one of them has been divorced and re married well at least that i know of. I know what a loving relationship looks like yet at 27 (btw when most of them were married and working on their first kid) i have yet to be in a real commited relationship in almost 4 years. If you are asking yourself why, well so the hell am I? lol I am sure i have an idea, but lets move on from that. Well what they say now is that our generation is not willing to struggle, that we want to be defined in our careers before we make that leap into marriage. What happened with our generation that we strayed from the previous generation? The baby boomers took a leap not knowing which bill was going to get paid and yet made it work and the divorce rate for them isnt as high as it is for those born between 1970-1986. Whats up people? Whats the deal? Why do you think its so hard for black people to stay together?
I say lets keep this conversation going and try and fix the issues we have. What do ya say?!